Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I Gave It My Best

When I married Rick I knew two things.

1. I loved him.
2. He was a nerd.

Seriously, Rick is one the most intelligent people I know. I often ask him to define words, talk slower and explain in four year old terms what the hell he's talking about. I knew there was always the possibility he would pass this on to our children, but I held on to the fact that surely my social skills genes could whoop his nerd genes and hard.

I knew that I was failing with Aren when he had just turned five and we were spending Christmas at my mom's house. She has a cat named Pinto and this cat has...issues. You know boys that are short tend to be a little mean - trying to prove that they can be just as "big" as the big kids? Yeah, that was Pinto. She had three legs. You heard me. Three legs. She's an outside cat and one day she just disappeared and showed up about a week later dragging her hind leg. The vet gave my mom some options and the cheapest was chosen...amputation. Point being, this cat was crazy.

I was talking with Aren one afternoon and he was telling me about his latest run in with Pinto and he said, "That cat is rather feral." I just stared at him. "What?" "That cat is rather feral." Again, staring. "What the hell does that mean?" Aren sighed and looked at me and said, "Wild mom. It means wild." I knew I was an idiot, and Aren confirmed it that night.

I had a dream that there was still hope. Aren could be a cool kid and I could help him, but this afternoon, all hopes were dashed. Aren's friend came over to play for the afternoon and the first thing he said was, "Hey, come back to my room and listen to the coolest song ever!" I was intrigued and waited to see what would come from the speakers.

Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 4th Movement (Ode to Joy for all you idiots like me).

Maybe I'll turn my efforts to Tatiana. Then again, she refuses to call orange juice "orange juice" because it's not orange, it's yellow. Maybe it's too late for her, too.

13 comments:

*~Petra~* said...

Love it! That is awesome... you should be proud. :)

Ah, the three legged cat... memories. :)

nelsonturf said...

Momma of the smarypantses! That's you!

Velda said...

Ah, the nerd gene keeps them out of big trouble though, right? Can't be so bad. :) Nerds or not, my kids are thrilled out of their socks to be seeing your kids here shortly.

Marissa said...

Seriously? Feral?
I am sorry MB, I would focus on Tatiana some more. :-)

Higleys said...

I hear ya, Welcome to my world
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmYDgncMhXw

JAMIE said...

Feral at Five? Hilarious!! Your cool-ness has to appear eventually.

And until then, think of all the words your kids can teach you.

I have to ask my husband for definitions all the time...and we joke about it all the time, because his Best Friend is a card carrying member of MENSA, and he's a very sarcastic person...and if you ask him what something means, he says, "it means you are stupid and I'm smart." All in jest of course. :)

Denise said...

I think you are diluting your oj too much. Ours is orange. Switch it up on her, that'll teach her.

Kimberly said...

That is too funny!!
Come on there's still hope. Tatiana is young, there's still time to mold her young mind. :)

Higleys said...

I've decided the nerd Gene is stronger, it outwits the social gene, maybe it messes the gene's sequence so it can't overpower the nerd gene.

My Name's Sarah said...

Hah! That's funny. "Pinto bites!"

Elizabeth said...

That is pretty funny. I love reading your stories. So random.

pocahontas said...

I think there is no escaping that nerd gene MB!

kellyclay said...

LOL!!

AREN ROCKS!!!