Thursday, October 9, 2008

Save the E-Mail, Save the World

I'm trying hard to keep this blog non-political, non-debatable, just mind-numbing. But things are happening that are driving me to drink full strength Coke and Mountain Dew and I don't like it.

It's e-mail forwards.

You know what I'm talking about. They rank anywhere from, "If you don't send this to 7 people, your phone will ring in seven days and you'll die", to "Sign this petition and stop John Q. Senator from single handedly driving America into socialist hands".

Come on people. Stop the insanity. E-petitions are crap. They won't do anything to help stop immigrants from getting social security and they won't help the President know where we stand on any other issue. I'm grateful for all the information I get about fake people's fake dreams and how they've changed their fake lives and how every body needs to know and if we truly love Jesus then we need to pass this on to ten people, but guess what. I don't think Jesus has e-mail, so I don't really think it's fair to assume that my love for Jesus is directly proportionate to the number of people I e-mail. Please don't get me started on the presidential candidates. Admittedly I usually only get the stuff saying Obama is the devil because I'm republican and associate mostly with republicans, so I guess technically I shouldn't be saying this, but I'm sick of all the e-mails telling me about the "lies of Obama". Just stop already!

Seriously, if you all think that passing on an e-mail is helping in any cause, you are high as a kite and mistaken. Passing these along and patting yourself on the back for a job well done is just about as lame as when you've just had a baby and have kids running helter skelter around your house and your hoo-ha is hurting and you're doped up on pain meds and your visiting teachers leave a note on the door that says, "Let us know if we can do anything! XOXO"

If you really want to change the world, stop hitting the forward button and get out there and do something. Join a campaign or help start an initiative. Raise money to fight an incurable disease or at least walk a 5k so people think you care. Just please, stop sending me this crap. I hate it.

Oh, and as for me and what I'm actively doing...that would be nothing. I'm patiently waiting for the world to go to hell in a hand basket basket so I can see my daughter again. Now pass this link on to ten people you know or you'll die tomorrow after suffering the plagues of Moses and Jesus will know you really hate him.

I'm serious.


Barbara Rees said...

MaryBeth, you MUST add a disclaimer to your blog--the number of times I have nearly spewed liquids through my nose when reading it could seriouly affect my health!!!

I love you and your blog--you both make me happy!

Melinda said...

So I guess I should take you off my forwarding list? :P

MIL needs to see this post but I'm to chicken to send it to her.

MaryBeth said...

Bobbi, I'm glad I can make you laugh. Sometime I think I'm clever, but you know, I'm biased :)

Melinda, this is one time when sending an e-mail is completely appropriate. Together we can stop the madness.

Ninny said...


The Payne Gang said...

You are one seriously funny chicka! Thanks for helping me smile, I did not think that would happen today.

Gramma Betsy said...

I found your blog while I was stalking someone else's blog and I need to make a comment about your most recent post: You make me laugh! Wish we could sit down and have a Diet Coke together! Thanks for being Shera's friend. She loves you to death! Love, Shera's Mom Betsy (Alias Gramma Betsy).

MaryBeth said...

Thanks Betsy! I'm totally addicted to Shera and am not afraid to say because of her my missionary experience in Bulgaria was what it should have been, nothing short of amazing. Thank you always for sharing her with me. She's my most favorite Shera EVER!

Velda said...

LOL. No one sends me political emails anymore; I think they're afraid. Somehow I don't think Jesus wants us telling each other we're hellward bound if we don't want to forward an email.

Hehe, and how about those XOXOXO notes? :-p

Emilie and Branden said...

Don't even get me started. Who has time to sit on their corn and read all the tattle tales about the candidates? That is precious blog-stalking time! Now pinch my elbow. And ping-pong.