Monday, January 25, 2010

Slow and Steady

All the do it yourself shows have told me that you can't remodel your kitchen a little at a time but seriously, who has thousands (sometimes tens of thousands) of dollars just hanging around so you don't have to go into debt and do it all at once? Not me. That's why I'm telling those tv shows to shove it and doing it bit by bit.

This weekend we started with the paint because we had a few extra surprise dollars come in. I'm asking for paint for Valentine's Day so I can do the cupboards, and then maybe after saving for a few months I can get my new sink and then finally new countertops. We'll see how it goes.

But until then, this is our before and afters...

For the record, I'm very aware of the touch-ups that need to be made...remember I said this was bit by bit :)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Neon Trees

So, here's a little introduction to Neon Trees. The bass player, dude with the facial hair, is my honeymoon companion from the mission's husband. Go ahead and listen HERE, enjoy, then pre-order their single HERE.

Monday, January 4, 2010

FHE for Dummies

Family Home Evening is a four letter word in our house. I know, I know. I say those bad words all the time, but this is a REALLY bad word in our house. We have such a hard time getting everyone to sit down and shut up and stop asking about's just hard. But FHE at our house just got a whole lot easier.

Thanks to a great combination of righteous people, not me, and the internet I have found 48 family home even lessons that correspond with the 2010 Primary theme. Why only 48? I've been thinking about that and maybe it's because you get four free weeks from FHE just like we get four free weeks from church because of General and Stake Conference. You think I'm kidding.


Saturday, January 2, 2010


I’ve tried over and over to write something positive about this absolutely not positive 5 year anniversary of my daughter’s death, but I can’t.

Five years has been a long time. In the past five years I haven’t potty trained Lily. I haven’t watched her graduate from preschool or cry at her first day of kindergarten. I haven’t helped her learn to read or tie her shoes or even practice for a leading role in the second grade revolutionary war play. Instead, I’ve cried and cried and cried some more. I’ve watched other little girls grow up and I’ve watched other mothers help their daughters grow up. I've watched other mothers pray for miracles for their hurting children and receive those miracles, all the while wondering what I did to not get mine. I’ve held my son as he cries and screams “It’s not fair!” and I’ve held my husband as he quietly sobs and whispers, “I just miss her so much.” I’ve had to show another daughter pictures of a little girl long gone and teach her the name of her sister. I’ve been laughing and loving my children and had to leave the room in tears because of the guilt I felt when I realized that one is missing and will never get the chance to grow up with her brother and sister.

Sometimes the story ends there…no comfort, no testimony, no nothing. And then sometimes, if I’m really lucky, I’ll feel my little girl standing next to me. Sometimes I’ll have a dream of what she might look like at the age of eight, getting ready to be baptized by her father. Sometimes I know the church is true and the pain I feel turns to comfort. Sometimes I can walk back into the room I left in tears and be grateful for the blessings I do have.

But most of the time it just hurts.