Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Sunday School Revisited

So I was sitting in Sunday School a few days ago and we were talking about Job.  I had read the lesson - yes, I read it before hand.  Why is that so hard for so many people to believe?  Anyways, I read it and I haven't figured out if that's a good or bad thing.  I feel like I come prepared, but then I get disappointed if we don't discuss the points that I want to discuss.  So, Rick and I had our own little Sunday School later that day and it was interesting to talk to him and compare thoughts.

Job was one freaking amazing guy and we're always told we need to be more like him, but let's be honest.  If we really want to liken the scriptures unto ourselves, there is no way in hell we can ever be like Job.  No matter what happened to him he was spot on and gave all the Sunday School answers, but is that what we're expected to do or even capable of doing?

It's no secret that we've had it rough for a little while.  I don't want to say I even sustained the losses that Job did, but I think losing a child, a home to a fire, and living on next to nothing for years to get out of debt can at least help me to sympathize with the guy.  The thing is, I wasn't Job.  Not even close.  For years I prayed sporadically at best and when I did I often begged for understanding to help me cope with the crap I'd been dealt.  In the scriptures the help and understanding always comes right away, but in reality that sometimes doesn't happen.  Sometimes you just have to deal with it until you're at a place to accept, and sometimes the acceptance doesn't come...sometimes all you can do is deal with it.

Sometimes we remember things differently than the way they really happened.  That horrible prom date where you spent the night at the guy's house and the guy left for work the next morning totally forgetting about you and making you hang out with his parents until your mom got there to pick you up - yes that really happened to me - is so devastating at first but 20 years later is totally hilarious.  Losing a home to fire is painful until you realize that the memories you have are not found in a house, but in you.

I wonder if Job really was as Sunday Schooly as he was portrayed in his book.  Maybe the book was written years later after he'd had time to reflect and had more time to realize what was really important.  Maybe he wasn't sitting there covered in boils, surrounded not by his family because they were all gone, but friends who were constantly questioning his spirituality, and thinking, "Man, I sure am blessed."  Maybe it took a little bit of time to realize how he needed to feel.

Maybe we're all a little more like Job than I originally thought.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Bountiful Baskets!

Ok, so I know this is not a new thing for most of you, but this is a big deal for us in our little neck of the woods.  When directions to your town include, "Drive about 45 minutes south of Tucson and when you think you've come to the end of the world, hang a right and keep driving and if you pass the strip bar you're going the right way," anything new is a big thing.

This morning I took my first trip to pick up my Bountiful Basket and I was not disappointed.  Yummy fruits and veggies await us this week.  Rick is excited about the sweet potatoes because I hate them and never buy them and I'm excited for some fresh mango in my smoothie.  Tatiana is already eating a banana and Aren, well, after looking at our loot walked away and promptly asked for a PopTart.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Do you remember your dreams?  I've had some crazy ones, and I mean CRAZY ones, but I'll be damned if I can remember any of them.  Sometimes I am pretty lucky and can remember very vividly what I dreamed and how I felt and last night was one of those moments.

Last night I dreamed that Lily was back with us and it was amazing.  It started with us being at home and all of the sudden I just knew that it was time for Lily to be resurrected and be back with us.  We all walked outside and there she was, my beautiful two year old daughter as perfect as perfect could be.  She ran, yes ran (something she's never been able to do) to us, and we went back inside and carried on like no time was lost.  She and Tatiana were the best of friends and Aren shared everything with her - something he always regrets not doing now that she is gone.

It gave me a little glimpse of what life could possibly be like, although I'm a little fuzzy on the details.  What happens if I'm like eighty and Lily decides then would be a good time.  I know Heavenly Father has a sense of humor, but hopefully He's not THAT funny.  Either way, that dream was just what I needed to remember that sweet Lily is mine and mine forever.  I can't wait for the day when I can hold her and love her once again.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Aaaaaalll By Myself

That's what I hear from Tatiana on a daily basis.  "I can do it aaaaaalll by myself."  Just typing it makes me cringe.  Well, this is what she did aaaaaaallll by herself on Saturday afternoon...

And this is what Andy did to fix it on Monday afternoon...

And this is Aren who unfortunately has inherited the same squinty eyed smile that I got from somewhere.