Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Talk

I've had many Aren milestones in the past almost ten years. Some were typical - walking, talking, potty training - and some not so typical - first hospital stay, chemo, broken legs. Last night was a typical milestone that no one wants to deal with but needs to be done. Last night Aren had "the talk".

That's right. My son has been de-flowered. He now knows, uh...well, the ins and outs of life. Luckily Rick was the one that had to deal with it because of my amazing parenting skills. It went a little something like this...

"Aren, please take a shower tonight."

"Mom, I hate taking showers."

Keep in mind after a long day of being by myself and Rick working overtime, I have a less than short fuse. "AREN! Let me tell you something. YOU STINK! Ok? You're getting older, your body is changing and once a week showers don't cut it. You smell! Bathe yourself!" And then I slammed the door as I walked out of the room.

Rick was there to explain the nerd side of things and started telling him about glands and blah, blah, blah and then said, "You know Aren..." Yeah, it was the "you can ask me anything" to try and open the doors, which Aren did, but only a crack. He proceeded to tell Rick that he had seen something at school about (he actually asked permission to use the next phrase and whispered) sex education, and was wondering what it was.

Trying not to laugh Rick told Aren that he was going to tell him some things and "when you've heard enough, tell me to stop and I will." He then laid it all out on the table - who has what and why and where it goes. "Ok, that's enough," was all Aren said. Rick then followed up with the ever important, "This is not something we discuss with our friends. It's very sacred and you should only talk to me or mom if you have questions. Do you understand?"

The response? "Yeah. If sacred means gross, I get it."

Poor Aren. He asked if he could play Super Smash Brothers Brawl for the rest of the night. I didn't have the heart to say no. I guess he needed to get those images out of his mind and replace it with little Mario characters beating the snot out of each other with frying pans. Who can blame him.


Denise said...


JAMIE said...

ROFL. "if sacred means gross, then yeah!"

I love that kid. He just tells it like he sees it.

Higleys said...


Karen said...

"If sacred means gross" is hilarious. When I get those questions from kids at work I always answer, "That is a great question to ask your mom."

Velda said...

Hahhaha. Love his reaction. What a funny kid.

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is WAY TO GO RICK! That's a potentially awkward bit of conversation. Sounds like he handled it like a champ!

Elizabeth said...

When Sam was 4 he got a hold of a medical cures and treatments book and asked me about some uh, pictures of the human, uh, anatomy. I told him it was a conversation for another day. Once in a while he asks me if it's another Aren cracks me up, seriously!