Sunday, March 8, 2009

Deserve

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and my mind started racing. I can never be too sure where my racing mind will lead me but last night wasn't anything dramatic, just something to think about.

Rick and I are finally almost out of debt, well credit card debt. It's no secret that when we moved to AZ five years ago we were over $50,000, yes that number is correct, in credit card debt. It was mostly because of medical expenses for the kids, but some of it was just dumbness on our part as well. With a whole lot of penny pinching and living in small apartments for five years we are just six weeks away from making our last payment and we are very happy. People have asked how we will celebrate and have used the word "deserve" alot, as in, "You guys deserve a vacation!" I thought about other times Rick and I deserved things, like when we did Make-A-Wish, or when Rick got his new job down here. I started thinking do we really "deserve" these things, and if we "deserve" the good stuff, did we "deserve" the bad stuff too?

After Lily died and we were waiting for a donor for Aren's transplant, I had someone ask, "What did your family ever do to deserve this?" I didn't know. Rick and I grew up LDS, graduated from seminary, I went to Ricks College and Rick went to the University of Utah (maybe that's where we went wrong), we both served missions, married in the temple, even had a child before our first anniversary, so really. What did we do to deserve this? If we deserve the good at the end of the bad, do we also derserve the bad in the middle of the good?

I continued thinking that maybe there just isn't a good enough word in the English language for someone who has been through a lot and finally has time to relax when all is said and done. Just like I've learned that there are words that just don't translate from Bulgarian to English, maybe there isn't a word that translates from English to English.

Maybe Rick and I don't "deserve" to celebrate the paying off of some people's annual salary. Maybe we just get to be happy that we did it on our own without declaring bankruptcy while having another child and only having one car and borrowing money from family to take a trip out east because we didn't have a credit card and...anyone know a word for that?

...only a few more hours to ENTER MY GIVEAWAY...

13 comments:

DENISE said...

You Know MB, you always make me think.

Andersonland said...

I don't know what you deseve for this, other than, I think this is really cool! Congrats on getting out of debt.

Megan said...

That is quite the feat. Way to go MB and Family. If nothing else, you all certainly deserve to be happy.

Elizabeth said...

Wow, I admire you a lot. It takes a lot of sticktoitiveness to get out of that kind of debt. I don't know anything about deserving the good or the bad but I think that you deserve to be happy. I think we all deserve it. Congratulations!

Lucky Mama said...

Congrats on paying off that debt that is amazing. I don't think people deserve things good or bad. I think things happen and sometimes they are good and sometimes they are bad. I do think that you should celebrate not that you deserve it but that it is a big accomplishment, and you worked hard. So go out to eat at a fancy restaurant, buy the kids each a new toy, get a massage just celebrate something that you have been working toward for a long time.

brossettelewis said...

I cringed, I hate the word deserve. For the exact reason you typed...good post.

Wahoo on paying of 50,000!

kellyclay said...

Now after reading this post I do not like the word Deserve. I would say in this instance that you and rick have earned the right to do something great.

amelia said...

I am so SO incredibly impressed that you are going to be debt free! It's been our goal this year to pay off credit cards that caught up with us RIGHT as my job hours and wage were cut back.

And you've made me rethink "deserve."

The Wilkins Family said...

I've never thought about that. You definitely didn't deserve the bad stuff... Be proud of yourselves paying off that much debt is a real accomplishment.

Ninny said...

Matt always talks about the English language being so lacking- he speaks Korean.
Deserve is an interesting word. The actual definition means to be worthy of. Maybe one day when we see things as they 'really' are' we might rejoice to think that we were worthy to 'deserve' the good and the bad.
The connotation seems negative though.
And if you were to pull it apart- de-serve well that can't be good. Because to capitate means to form a head but decapitate means to cut off the head.
So if serve means to be of use, worthy of reliance or trust, well then.........
Now I have written a novel in your comments! LOL
Hope you have an awesome day.

*~Petra~* said...

CONGRATULATIONS on being out of debt!!!! That is so exciting. I am so happy for you :)

Higleys said...

Congrats. Y'all did a great job. You worked hard, you should feel good about your accomplishments.
Love you

Karen said...

That is a huge accomlishment! You have tons of willpower to get that done. I've often wondered the same thing about "deserving" things...