Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Seven Years

It's been seven years since Lily died.  Seven years.  That's a long time.  I did a paper for my developmental psychology class this semester on the gender differences in the grieving process of parents who have lost a child and it was painful to do.  Studies have been done that suggest even five years after the passing of a child, parents still think of them on a daily basis.  I should have been in that study.

I think about Lily as I drive down the street and see the park where she played.  I think about Lily when we go to Target and Tatiana begs to look at the shoes just one more time.  I think about Lily when I go to church and see a little girl wearing the same Christmas dress I bought for her just a month before she died.  I think about Lily every time I wake up and see her picture hanging on the wall, constantly taunting me because it will never change.  I think about her every time I come to the intersection of Foothills and Hwy 92 and see Hatfield's - the mortuary where we picked out her casket.  The director suggested a cradle, but I refused.  Lily insisted on a bed instead of a crib the last time she was in the hospital because she told me that she was a big girl.

I think about Lily when I hear people talking of forever families and in my heart I listen for that small voice to whisper that it's true.  That she is mine forever and I will see her again.

6 comments:

nelsonturf said...

(((hugs)))

Mrs Elf said...

Here is a hug for you, MaryBeth.

Eva said...

we love you guys!

Higleys said...

Thank you for the post. I love the way you remember Lily each year. They are always so touching. The picture is beautiful.

hdknowles said...

That was beautiful and I'm now sitting in my office with tears in my eyes. Hugs to you and your family on this special day.

Sharilyn said...

Tears.
I never knew her, but I think of her quite frequently. That might be strange, but a testiment of how even the smallest and shortest lives really make an huge impact on so many.
And you, Miss MaryBeth, are a very, VERY good mom.